Coat: Theory (similar) | Scarf: Topshop (on sale) | Boots: Mason Margiela (brogue version + ankle boot version) | Denim: Citizens of Humanity (maternity) | Sunglasses: Prada | Lipstick: Bobbi Brown Pink Nude + Pink Cloud | Cuff: Hermes | Clutch: Celine Box Bag
I haven’t mentioned this on here before, but one of the things that I’m so incredibly nervous about is how Pete, our Mini Schnauzer, is going to be when the baby comes. He’s an incredible dog, which I’m sure everyone says about their own, but we’ve learned over the last few years, that he does not do well with little children. When he was a little puppy, he got surrounded by a group of overly excited little kids who were aggressively (but innocently) playing with him and I swear, it was that moment that traumatized him for life. Then again, it might be more than that, but I always wonder if that was the trigger.
I should also probably mention two things: recently, when my one year old baby cousin was over our house, I had to hold Pete the entire time because he kept aggressively growling at her. Quite honestly, if I let him down, I don’t know what would have happened, but I couldn’t take that chance. About a year prior to that, we had our friends and their one year old baby over the house. At one point, when I picked the baby up, he got incredibly jealous and tried to lunge for the babies leg. Luckily, nothing happened and he just grabbed a little material, but again, it could have been really bad.
So yeaaaaa, I’m not 100% of what we’re going to do, but working with a trainer and trying to figure out a game plan is going to be our first step. The thought of finding him a new home, pains me to no end (I cry just thinking about it), but of course we don’t want to put our child in jeopardy. If that were ever to happen, worst case scenario, we would keep him close and in the family. Again, this is worst case scenario, but we’re trying to be prepared on every single level.
Has anyone had any similar experiences? Any tips or words of advice? We’ve been told to practice holding a doll, while playing a soundtrack of a crying a baby, which we’ll be sure to try.
We actually took these photos before meeting with the trainer, so that’s what sparked this train of thought.
On a different note, this blanket scarf that I’m wearing is back in stock after being sold out for a few weeks! Definitely one of my favorites.
xoxo,
Helena
photos by Keith Hodne
82 comments
Dana
I'm so sorry to hear about Pete! I bet working with a trainer will help, and maybe introducing him to any small kids you know now? If not, I will happily doggie sit (or take him) for you!!! Losing a dog is like losing a part of the family though – It's heartbreaking. Try not to worry too much yet, but I totally understand what you're going through. 🙁
http://www.thecasualclassic.com
January 27, 2016Natali
I don't have any pets, so I can't really give you any advice on this matter but I do know that a lot of families have had not only one but a few dogs in the house prior to the baby being born and ever since bringing the baby home, they never had any issues with the dog and baby co-exhisting in the same place. The only problem was the time management to fit in the usual "doggy business" into a new and unpredictable schedule with the baby in the picture. Good luck with this matter!
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January 27, 2016Elodie
Love the look! And about your dog, I don't have any pets, but from what I've seen I'm sure it'll be fine. A pet can sense when a little one is part of the family, so hopefully you don't need to find Pete a new home.
– Elodie x
January 27, 2016http://www.elle-yeah.com
Anonymous
I'm SO glad to see this post today – I'm newly pregnant and that's actually how I found your blog (which I love), but I also worry about this issue with our doggy who has literally been my baby up until now! Please keep us posted as to how you make out and any new thoughts … it's definitely been on my mind a lot too lately :-/
January 27, 2016BrooklynBlonde
I'll definitely keep you guys posted!! xoxo
January 27, 2016Emma Honohan
Great bundled up look for all the snow you must have gotten recently!!
January 27, 2016emmastyleguide.blogspot.com
Adriana
Love the layers of this look! Camel is such a nice color on you!
xx
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January 27, 2016Foam of Cancun
Those boots are EVERYTHING! Loving the bag though.
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January 27, 2016Mrs. Shiny and New
My mother-in-law's dog was a rescue dog and was terrified of children. We had concerns about her being with our baby but she accepted her as one of the pack and is now very protective of our children. We did watch her like a hawk in the beginning and did not leave her alone with the kids. Hope your dog adjusts well to the baby. Best wishes!
January 27, 2016Valentina
Black and beige is one of my favorite color combination. You look so glam!
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Katie
You look so great!
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January 27, 2016Sasa Zoe
Great layers<3
Shall We Sasa
January 27, 2016Taylor Winkelmeyer
My Pomeranian is not good with very small children either, and I always wondered about how people deal with this. Definitely keep us updated on how he does!
January 27, 2016This coat with this scarf is absolutely darling. Gorgeous look.
ox Taylor | http://www.mycupofchic.com
The Lovely Diary
I love the layers, amazing look! 🙂
January 27, 2016Joy Shiness
This outfit looks great !
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January 27, 2016Joy Shiness
This outfit looks great !
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January 27, 2016Morgan Harris
I hope everything works out with your dog! Side note: I finally found this coat after searching forever, and I love it! Definitely my favorite coat now!
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January 27, 2016alyssa amato
Hope everything works out with your dog! This looks is perfect for the winter. That scarf looks so warm! xx
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January 27, 2016Cheryl Dar
Hey Helena — we had the SAME EXACT issue with our dog when my daughter was born. We did the same as you and held the dolls, played a youtube video of a screaming baby. And then on the day we came home from the hospital, we brought our dog outside on the porch to meet our new daughter (who stayed in her car seat/carrier). The purpose of taking our dog outside was to draw her away from her "domain". Right now, to your dog's eyes, your house is his domain. And any new infiltration can trigger anxiety in him. So, by bringing them to "meet" eachother (aka having Pete sniff your new baby boy for a little bit) it allows the dog time to acclimate before you bring him indoors. If you brought your child in the house (where his domain is being infilitrated without his permission), he may get aggressive. For me, cut to two years later, and my dog only tolerates my daughter even tho my daughter LOOOOOOOOOOOVES our dog. Each transition of our daughter's development was a transition for our dog as well. Our dog knew our baby as this thing that lays there. And got used to it. Then it was this thing that can roll over, so our dog had to get used to that. Now, this baby can crawl — get used to that. So on and so forth, until around a year where they start walking. Once my daughter was walking our dog was able to understand that THIS is the new norm, it got WAY better. You just keep an eye out as the days and weeks progess to see what Pete's temperament is towards your new son. It took several months for our dog to be completely ok with my daughter. And I'm sure you've been told by several, never leave (even for a small moment) your dog and baby alone. Ever. Good luck. Safe training. And Congrats again on Baby Hodne.
January 27, 2016-CLK0724
BrooklynBlonde
Hi Cheryl,
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and to share your experience and some amazing tips! This makes me feel so much better and I'm hoping that the same thing happens with us and Pete! xoxo
January 27, 2016Cheryl Dar
Hi again — I just read another comment below, and we did the same thing as she did — while I was still in the hospital recovering after giving birth, we had a family member come to our house with a blanket that our daughter had already been wrapped up in so that our dog could smell her scent before hand as well. You'll absolutely have good outcomes with Pete! By reaching out to everyone in blog-world, by getting a trainer involved, by asking friends and family, it shows that you are doing everything you can to ensure the success of all parties (doggie and baby) involved. You are already an awesome Mommy. The fact that you're already aware that this could be an issue and doing something about it shows that you got this. It'll all work out. Stay positive. You're doing amazing!
January 28, 2016Marie a la Mode
I'm due in March and worried about this, too, except we have a cat who HATES children (or anyone under 4 feet for some reason) and hisses at them! If they too close she will swat at them, too! Even the smell of a baby will cause her to hiss! We are hoping for the best and pray that she'll get used to the baby once he comes. I hope the trainer helps you out! Keep us posted and good luck! xo
January 27, 2016Jessie Frederick
Please don't get rid of your dog! It breaks my heart when couples commit to a pet and then just give it away when situations and circumstances change. A couple comments above gave some great insight into animals and children that I think would be great things to keep in mind. At the end of the day, you are the boss of your home, and your pup needs to recognize that he is part of your pack, not the other way around. Along with all the prep work beforehand, when the baby comes, make sure that you are in full control of the situation and that Pete recognizes that he's to follow your lead. I know it must be incredibly difficult to have to confront this issue, but please please please don't get rid of your dog.
January 27, 2016BrooklynBlonde
Hi Jessie,
Thank you for your response! Trust me when I tell you, the very last thing we would ever want to do is to find Pete a new home and we are going to do *everything* in our power to make sure we don't have to. We're just going into it being realistic as he has the capability of biting and being aggressive and we would never want to put our baby in jeopardy of getting severely injured. I've had dogs my entire life and it's not something I'd ever take lightly, but we want to make sure we're 100% prepared and not going into this new life situation blindly. If my worst nightmare became a reality and we had to give him away due to extreme circumstances, I hate hearing the word "get rid of your dog.." as it sounds so harsh :(. We would do everything in our power to find him the best possible home, but hopefully that wont be the case and he can peacefully continue living with us.That's why, along with the training, I'm reaching out to you guys for opinions and advice.
xoxo,
January 27, 2016Helena
Mancina
fantastic look!
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January 27, 2016Sarah Murphy
Absolutely loving that scarf! The warm tones are so pretty!
x Sarah
January 27, 2016http://www.bohochiccafe.com
Laura Renaud
Not a dog, but our cat is not fond of people who get in her face. We were a bit worried with our son – he LOVES the kitty, and once he started moving, he was all up in her space. And you know what? She tolerates him a heck of a lot better than she does anyone else – it's like she know he's here to stay, so she tempers her behaviour. I still watch them like a hawk, but thankfully she'll give him several warnings (most people get ONE), so I can usually defuse situations if they arise.
January 27, 2016Marta
Love the coat and boots!
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January 27, 2016Jillian Rea
We just had a baby (9 month ago) and had the same issue with our dog. At first it was scary and I felt anxious all of the time. A couple of times we had her stay with my parents because we were just so stressed out. But as our baby grew, and they had more positive experiences together, they developed a great relationship! Once our dog realized she was part of the family she looked at her as part of her pack and not just some random child. Hang in there and give it a try. Of course we made sure that our baby was ALWAYS safe, but it is possible for a dog to change if she is given the opportunity!
January 27, 2016Maree Sye
Since the day I brought my dog home as a tiny puppy, I have sworn by Cesar Millan's practices and techniques. In fact I still watch his videos again and again to always ensure that I am practicing assertive and calm behavior with my little pug. Things that my friends never understood (I don't allow him to sit on people's laps as that is a sign of dominance/I correct him if he ever pushes back dirt after going to the bathroom which is another sign of dominance/ he NEVER walks out any door first no matter where we are – it's time consuming but I never give him a moment to be the pack leader, etc) – these were all small behaviors that could lead to bad ones later on. As a result, he has turned out to be the most amazing dog I've ever even come across and is a testament to how well Cesar Millan's techniques work. Cesar actually has trainers all over the country and there is one in Hoboken! His Instagram handle is @packleaderdogs – it may be worth contacting him. I had so many friends take their dogs to various trainers over the years and when they would tell me what techniques they used, I was not surprised they didn't work. I know it sounds silly, but I can attest to how well his techniques helped me first hand and anyone else I ever suggested them to had amazing results. It may be worth looking into and even contacting his approved trainer that lives in Hoboken. You are totally doing the right thing and I know there are answers out there that can help! You sound so committed and that is half the battle. Wishing you all the best and a happy family!
January 27, 2016sanssouci •
Good training, love and patience! Don't get rid of him, he will be traumatised again, abandonment this time which is worse! Besides, there's never a better image than a mature dog or puppy with a baby. Priceless!
January 27, 2016Your camel tones and ankle boots are amazing!
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Bella B
I adore that jacket its so cute and the perfect colour, I love this classic look
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January 27, 2016Julie Hiller
I love the plaid scarf! It's a beautiful set of colors.
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January 27, 2016Miss Pippi
Nice scarf!
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January 27, 2016Laura Mitbrodt
Your camel coat is amazing, love it with the scarf
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Balkan style by M.
I just love love zour style!
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January 27, 2016Ciara Rose
Stunning outfit.. I absolutely adore the pointed shoes!! xx
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January 27, 2016Minau
Such a great ensemble!
January 27, 2016alicia E
Hi Helena, I love your blog. And i love watching you remodel your new home. It gives me a lot of great ideas!
January 27, 2016In regards to your dog. Please don't give him away. Just yesterday on the Fab Life tv program, was all about that! You should try to catch it on demand. But Ceaser Milan was there as a guest and he answered this very question, its usually the owner of the dog that makes the dog nervous not them, Also if you go to his website Cesarmilan.com there are great ideas when it comes to bringing in a baby to a home with pets. Its just something new thats all, and we always get nervous in new situations. Its natural. I hope you really do your research, i have two amazing boys and our dog just accepted them as part of the pack.
Nicola J
Gorgeous outfit, love the colours of the scarf.
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January 27, 2016Vale ♥
Love your look and the blanket scarf and wish you good luck with your dog, hope he'll do fine with your baby =) Kisses
Fashion and Cookies – fashion blog
January 27, 2016PSLily Boutique
Love the scarf, coat and boots 🙂
xo,
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THE NEON FACTOR | Diana
Love it! You look so chic.
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Alison
Helena, We have also a scared around little kids mini schnauzer (named Charlie) and we were nervous when I was pregnant too. When my daughter was born May 2014 Charlie and our other playful mini Schnauzer Emma were both so fascinated by the baby and her coos and crying that they laid by her crib and made sure she was safe and would come to me if she dropped something. You will be amazed at how well Pete will do regardless of how he has been in the past with little kids. You might be overly worried for nothing. Starting from baby and to have your baby grow up with your dogs, they will both grow to love him and care for him. I bet you will be surprised at how well PETE does!!! Hugs!!! Alison S. from Iowa
January 27, 2016Vera
Beautiful look.
Blonde in Cashmere
January 28, 2016Maggie Zemanek
That is the perfect coat!! Love this look!
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January 28, 2016LRB
Great neutral coat, goes with everything!
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January 28, 2016Dena Hutchison
Hi Helena, my first "child" was a miniature schnauzer & he spent very little time around kids. I was very worried when we brought our first child home. My husband read it was good to let your dog get use to the smell of the baby before you brought him home so when he would go home he would take one of the baby's blankets from the hospital & put it in our dog's bed. I now have 4 kids. We did this with all our children and never had any issues with him & our kids even as he got older & less patient. Hope this helps. Good luck.
January 28, 2016Anonymous
The fact that you even mentioned getting rid of your dog kinda turns me off to your blog now. Sorry
January 28, 2016BrooklynBlonde
I'm sorry you feel that way but I wanted to be as honest as possible as our dog. That would be the last thing I'd want to do, but I also wouldn't be able to live with myself if I went into the situation, actually knowing our dog is a threat and run the risk of him attacking our child. However, like I said, we're doing everything in our power to work on this so we don't have to.
January 28, 2016Karol Tumanyan
Please whatever you do, do not surrender him to any of the NYC ACC's. I do cat rescue and I know exactly what goes on in those places. There is a 90% chance that if you surrender him to the ACC he will be put down within a few days of bringing him there. If he is one of the few lucky ones that doesn't get put on the kill list he will no doubt be exposed to any number of diseases that float around at those facilities. This happens in all animal control/shelters across the country, but NYC ACC is one of the worst.
February 2, 2016BrooklynBlonde
Hi Karol,
We would never do that!! I promise! In the most extreme, worst case scenario, he would go to my father, whom he loves as much as us! But when I say worst case scenario, this is if we ever felt that he was a threat to our child or close to attacking him. However, from what I'm reading/hearing and with proper training, I have faith that everything will be okay and Pete will realize that he's one of the pack. My dogs are my life and the purpose of this post was to get some feedback so I can be 110% prepared! The last thing we're looking for is an easy way out.
February 2, 2016Anonymous
If your baby has issues, will you get rid of it? Wow, just wow
January 28, 2016Cheryl Dar
It's obvious that you're not a mother.
January 28, 2016pamela crenshaw
Either come out of the dark and show us who you are or shut up. Anonymity makes cowards real brave. Keep your stupid comments to yourself. Or lets see how brave you really are…direct your comments to me!
January 28, 2016Anonymous
I wasn't trying to be anonymous, it was just easier since I have no facebook accounts and what not. I am allowed to voice my opinion. I don't usually voice my opinion, but this touches my core. No I am not a mother, but I am a teacher. I don't want to be a mother, as I see too many kids screwed up from horrible parents that shouldn't have kids. I would be a great parent, but see what it takes and have no desire, nor will I. I am 39 years old and happy with my hubby and four cats! I am also an advocate for animal rights. I am trying to teach my class about all of the animals in the shelters that people give away and what happens to them. I have no problem saying who I am… Holly from California. I'm sorry you won't find me online though. If I want to choose to stop reading her blog because of her ignorance, then so be it. What is it to you? Your threats show your immaturity and inability to see the bigger picture in this. These animals don't have a voice and are killed because so many people think or feel the same way as Helena. I have no tolerance for that. As I'm sure you have issues that are important to you.
January 29, 2016Cheryl Dar
No one is trying to down play your voice or your beliefs. It's AWESOME that you feel so strongly about something and on top of that — it's a GOOD something. Animal rights need to be fought. The issue here is how you approached Helena, and your lack of respect towards her and her issues. Your reply to her was done in poor taste. She is obviously doing all that she can to ensure success in transitioning into Motherhood. To have someone comment as you didn't isn't productive or constructive. If you truly want voice your opposing opinion, next time try sending something that she can use, or have words of encouragement, rather than judgement as you did. Happy Friday to you.
January 29, 2016Anonymous
Cheryl,
My comments were more for the other person that kinda came at me in a strange way. I didn't mean to disrespect her issues. I just thought that she was jumping the gun, like so many people do. If you are already thinking/sharing with your readers about what to do with the dog, then that tells me you are someone is willing or ok giving it away. She is trying to tell herself it's acceptable, but she knows it's not. It seems to me she wants people to tell her this is ok. Well, I strongly believe that it is not. Poor taste….ok. But, that was my honest reaction. I didn't call her names. I said Wow and asked if she would give her baby away. It shocks me, but I guess it really shouldn't. There are a lot of people that think this way. I have witnessed people give away animals when their babies come, without a care in the world for what happens to them next. I know Helena cares, but it's the whole principle. If you take an animal in, it is a life-long responsibility. I try not to judge people actually, but this issue, like I said, is close to my heart. I stand by what I said, but if people are offended, then I guess it didn't come out right. I am not going to sugar coat that thousands of unwanted animals are killed in our shelters every single day! Her dog will probably be fine, and if not, I'm sure end up in a friends home. But, there is just a bigger issue here and I can't tolerate it. Thank you for at least expressing your disappointment to my post in a respectable manner, unlike the other reader. Look, I love fashion and New York. So it's sad that I can't read this anymore. I have to be done with this now. Take care
January 30, 2016Elizabeth T.
Aww I really love your honesty in this post. I agree with what a lot others said before me – maybe you can try to let Pete slowly get used to having another person in the family? I think he will need some time to become accustomed to things, but I'm sure he'll be all right. 🙂 Hoping the best for everything <3
XO, Elizabeth
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Ellie
You look amazing as always!! The shoes are the best!
January 28, 2016anoddgirl
gorgeous outfit!
January 28, 2016My baby nephew is currently living in the same house as me with his parents and he is fine with my dog (who was the beloved baby of the house before the actual baby). My dog was initially very confused by the mini human but now it has become normal for him having a baby around. However, my nephew can sometimes be quite rough with my dog but slowly he is learning not to grab and tug at him.
I hope that helps
xx
http://anoddgirl.blogspot.com.au
Madeleine Burke
Love this look. The coat is the perfect length!
January 28, 2016Madeleine, The Daily Mark
DJ Hargrave
This look is perfect, and the scarf is…wow!
DJ | Style & Personal Development
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January 28, 2016Jamie Ever After
love this classic look. you are glowing! When are you due again??
January 28, 2016xxo
Jamie
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Eva Cooper
Your sunglasses are so cool!
January 28, 2016ravenlocks
I think they have dolls that actually cry. That may be more effective, maybe? Dogs are a lot smarter than we think and Pete would probably catch on to the fact that it's just a recording and not an actual baby. But what do I know? I've never been in that situation before. I hope all goes well. I know that dogs do change when a baby comes. I'm sure he'll just "get it" and he'll become super protective of your baby.
Your outfit is beautiful, Helena 🙂
xo Azu
http://www.raven-locks.blogspot.com
January 28, 2016Jada Nicola
Love those boots! Great neutral outfit.
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January 28, 2016The Darling Standard
My boyfriend has a Mini Schnauzer as well and he isn't the biggest fan of small children either. The one thing we noticed was that he didnt appreciate was the constant grabbing and their little hands in his face. Luckily he never growled or anything. He would just bark/cry a bit haha. He then discovered that just walking away from the children or hiding on the bed since the small children couldn't find him solved the problem. I wonder if its something common with the breed.
January 28, 2016The Darling Standard
My boyfriend has a Mini Schnauzer as well and he isn't the biggest fan of small children either. The one thing we noticed was that he didnt appreciate was the constant grabbing and their little hands in his face. Luckily he never growled or anything. He would just bark/cry a bit haha. He then discovered that just walking away from the children or hiding on the bed since the small children couldn't find him solved the problem. I wonder if its something common with the breed.
January 28, 2016Jennifer Watts
Hi Helena! I absolutely love your blog and your honesty. I am also a mommy to be due in May and we have an english bulldog!
January 29, 2016We've been holding a stuffed animal that plays her heartbeat close to him and i sit on the floor with him and have him close to my tummy. They also say once the baby is here to have your dog smell her clothes so he gets familiar with her smell.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, dont ignore the pups! Ive seen before with my girlfriends that once baby comes, you naturally forget anything else. And thats when they dogs will lash out.
Good luck and im sure everything will be perfect! <3
Marisa Raquel Fonseca
I think a good way to initially present the baby while you're in the hospital is your husband bring the child's clothes for the doggies get used to the smell. Your dog is part of the family and I think you should never,never consider having to take him from home. Please work with him and with a coach and for sure you will find the solution.Best of luck!
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January 29, 2016Lorna
I think this is a really good idea too. Sometimes it's completely different if the baby/child is your own. Other people's babies have a completely new scent to them and a smell your dog doesn't recognise so he thinks he's being protective of you to save you from what he thinks is a danger. It might be entirely different when your little one comes along and they have your scent. It might take some time for him to get used to it, but over time he should develop the same love and bond he has with you once he realises that the baby isn't a threat and is part of the 'pack' so to speak. Just try to make sure that you give Pete as much attention as you can when the baby comes home too as otherwise he might get extremely jealous at that point and feel a bit left out, so once he knows he's equally as important, hopefully it's ok. If there is a struggle, I'd suggest a trainer in some form. It will be so upsetting for him to be re-homed, even within the family/friends circle, as he wouldn't understand why you gave him up in place of another when he thought he was protecting you. I know it can be tough, but hopefully it all works out. I know these breeds are loving, loyal and easily trained, so fingers crossed for you! I truly hope it's happy families 🙂 🙂
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January 31, 2016theStyleventure
I am in love with the boots!
Love,
January 29, 2016http://www.thestyleventure.com
Unknown
Helena,
January 29, 2016I also have a schnauzer and she has never really warmed up to babies. The best thing I did was to keep them close so they both could familiarize while still keeping a careful eye on them. Eventually your dog (if he is like mine) will warm up to your baby and even become protective of them as if they were you. I think you are definitely taking the right steps by getting prepared, all the best of luck. xoxo- Chloe
Vanessa Ciliberto
so chic!
TheVogueWord
January 29, 2016TheVogueWord
Unknown
I would consider reading Good Dog Happy Baby. I don't have children myself but we've worked personally with Michael Wombacher with some of our pup's behavioral issues and he was amazing and I've great things about his book too. http://gooddoghappybaby.com
January 30, 2016Emma Loves Fashion
Love the hole outfit!
February 8, 2016The boots are amazing,
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Gabriela
I think you are probably far from Buffolo, but there is a great trainer there called K9 Connection. His name is Tyler Muto
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