Whenever someone asks me how I’m doing, the first thing that comes out of my mouth is “highs and lows.” It’s the simple truth. I’ve had my share of really high moments – things that I may have taken for granted before. Or rather, moments I may have not appreciated as much as I do now. Moments of such appreciation, they almost become overwhelming. Then there are those moments where fear, anxiety and sadness creep in. I feel like we’re living in some type of bad dream.
There are those moments where, along with the rest of us, I wonder when this will end?! What will our new normal look like? Last night, I was browsing through one of my local FB groups and the topic was “When do you think this social distancing order will end & when will schools reopen?” Of course, all of the answers were mere guesses, but browsing those type of posts always pull me into a low place. It’s the unknown of when, that is anxiety-inducing for all of us.
I worry about those with small children – how do we protect these innocent little souls who just want to go to playground, see their friends or simply get a slice of pizza or a donut. I worry about all of the small businesses who are not going to make it out of this. These thoughts tend to weigh me down, especially when I think about the mom & pop shops that as it is, are living paycheck-to-paycheck. Those that have put their entire life savings into their business and just like that, they may not survive. That part really kills me.
I get sad about our parents who miss their grandchildren. Sasha is growing up so quickly and at this point, one month is major and I know how much that kills them. I worry about my father who is over 80 years old (he had me in his 40’s) and living alone. My mother also lives alone, but for some reason, I worry less about her. She’s the type of woman who always tells me to “relax. everything is going to be okay..”
I also want to be 100% honest with you all. Quarantining with two small children, especially while trying to work-from-home is very hard! Like, really, really hard. Please don’t take this the wrong way. They’re truly the biggest blessing and majority of the time, I am so thankful that we’re getting to spend so much time together as a family. When I think about it, an opportunity we’ll probably never get again. They also make the day go by so quickly, even with my head spinning for a portion of it.
Most days, Keith and I are so burned out from the day that we just want to collapse, but there’s really no time for that. When they’re asleep, it’s our time to get some work done without any distractions. We both realize that having jobs right now, especially jobs that we love, is such a gift. I think it’s okay to recognize that, but also admit that balancing our working-from-home situations + parenting + home chores and everything in between is hard.
With all of the above being said, yesterday was a really great day. I spent most of the day hanging out with the kids while Keith worked on a new Netflix series in his basement studio (he’s an Audio Engineer). After a couple of hours, we all went into our backyard, poured some wine, listened to music and simply hung out while Sasha napped in her stroller. They were a series of such simple moments, but moments that made me feel so thankful.
At one point, I just closed my eyes and thought “something good has to come out of all of this. Something good will come of this”. Of course, there’s nothing good about all of the lives we’ve lost, all of the jobs, and what is going to happen to our economy. But beyond that, some deeper level of human connection. Something we’ve lost along the way for a society as a whole. I read this article the other day and it made me feel hopeful.
On instagram, I’ve been trying to use my platform to help out in whatever ways I can. Whether it’s connecting to some of you, donating a portion of my project earrings to City Harvest or donating my unopened beauty products to those on the frontlines – it all helps. If you don’t have a platform, that doesn’t matter. Any small gesture goes a long way. Helping an elderly person order groceries and dropping them off (if you’re able to) on their steps. Checking in on a single friend to see how they’re coping being alone. Donating whatever you can afford to a charity you’re passionate about. Anything.
As far as the content I put out, it will continue to be a mix. I want to provide a distraction in whatever ways I can. I realize many of you are not shopping or interested in knowing about my favorite beauty products that are getting me through and that’s okay. I’ve learned that it’s impossible to please everyone on a regular day, but especially during a crisis. If there’s anything you want to see more of or less of, of course, I would love to know.
So these are my high and low thoughts on everything going on. How about you? How are YOU feeling? What helps you get through the day? For those of you who’ve lost jobs or income, who are on the frontlines, who have small businesses, who’ve been impacted by the virus in any way, my heart goes out to you. It’s a tough time. But like all of you, I am praying when it’s over, we come out of it stronger.
26 comments
Meghan
I really appreciate this post and your honesty Helena. I, too, feel like my ability to navigate these days is really day by day, with some being more positive than others. I can only imagine what having 2 children during this time does to your energy levels. I always love your blog and instagram content, thanks for being honest and open during this time.
April 9, 2020Helena
Totally agree with you on all of this ❤️ Thank you for being sensitive and positive.
April 9, 2020Andrea
I love this post. Thanks for being honest. Personally, I love following your day to day. You’ve influenced a lot of my beauty routine and items I reach for every day so please don’t stop! I may not be purchasing as much but I have a list of what I want when the time is right. There’s no rule book for this time and if you feel good about your efforts, that’s what counts. A lot of this time is for rediscovering ourselves and supporting each other.
April 9, 2020Julie Van Wey Blacutt
This is a wonderful post
April 9, 2020K
Helena, thank you so much for sharing this and writing so honestly. This is a beautiful piece of writing, way beyond blogging, beautiful, beautiful writing. I can resonate with so much of what you have written. Like you I go from high to low, high to low. I have two little boys and since the “lockdown” we have been permitted one hour of outdoors exercise each day. So every single morning we get up super early and go walking for an hour up in the woods close to where we live. I have found this to be a really positive way for us to start the day, the boys love it and I love seeing how happy they are. I literally drink in the morning sun, the bird song, the fresh air, the sound of my children laughing. We don’t normally go walking in these woods so the lockdown has brought something good to us which we will carry on doing in the future. Low points tend to creep in when I catch the news so I’ve deliberately cut back on how much media I’m looking at now. I had a few freak out moments early on but when I think about it logically, I’m following all of the “rules” and very confident in my health, I eat well and exercise etc. As bad as it all is, I’m beginning to think a lot of goodness will come from it all. My heart breaks for the lives lost but for those of us getting through it, we’ll never take our lives for granted ever again. Thank you again for such an honest post Helena X x x
April 9, 2020Aspa
A wonderful post from the heart and soul… ❤️
April 9, 2020Sel
Hello Helena, like you, I am concerned and grateful for what I have. I am concerned for my elderly parents and relatives. My Mum is a fit and healthy 79 year old, but lives alone. I call her twice a day and she is calling my brothers and I and her siblings and friends – she will have quite a phone bill. My Dad is my greatest worry and sadness. He is 86 years old, suffers from dementia and is in an aged care home. Here in Australia, my Dad’s aged care home has been in lock down for 4 weeks, no visitors allowed. I have not seen my Dad in four weeks. Dementia is a terrible illness, it steals everything from a person – knowledge and memories of their life and loved ones, their physical abilities. I have seen my Dad’s 8 year struggle with this disease and what it has done to him, what he has been reduced to. I have come to terms that this disease will take his life and I have grieved. There are times that I have said to others that I would much rather him pass away than to live in the state that he is in. This may sound callous to others, but until one sees what dementia does, one does not know what a monster it is. My greatest sadness comes from the knowledge that I cannot comfort him when he becomes agitated, I cannot hold his hand or kiss his cheek – I don’t want him to pass away alone and without the comfort and love of human touch – that is breaking my heart.
April 9, 2020April
Thank you for keeping it real. Times are tough and it isn’t easy to see people you know succumb to the virus. Yet as I see some recover, I see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.
I enjoy your content more than ever. Your beauty posts give me at least a list of what to buy or try after all of this.
April 9, 2020Erin
This is really well put Helena, I know NYC is frantic right now and fear of the uncertainty and unknown is consuming at times. Yes, things will change and hopefully for a better new normal. I appreciate this article being so well balanced, very Libra 😉
April 10, 2020Amar Veenupusa
I enjoy your content more than ever. Your beauty posts give me at least a list of what to buy or try after all of this.
April 10, 2020Janine
Wow, what a beautifully written blogpost. Thank you so much for this Helena, I feel like you typed out all the words that I have had trouble to spell out! At this point, I am truly just taking it day by day – after all, that’s all we are really able to do! Thank you for posting this, this made me feel less alone.
April 10, 2020xx Janine
https://walkinmysneaks.blogspot.com
Mireia
It’s a really hard time for all of us, especially when it comes to grandparents and people at risk. It’s difficult to stay positive the whole time but all we can do is cooperate, stay at home, and wait for it to finish as soon as possible!
Stay safe girl!
Mireia from TGL
April 10, 2020https://thegoldlipstick.com/
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April 10, 2020Nadia khan
Hi Helena, thank you for sharing such a heart felt and honest post. One of the reasons you are my favorite bloggers, and I’ve followed you for so long. I am almost in my third trimester of pregnancy. Generally I am a pretty positive gal but have been feeling the ups/down. Babymoon and anniversary trips both canceled and my baby shower, and I know those are minor things in the grand scheme of things but since this is my first pregnancy I wanted to be able to experience those things. All though, i also feel its difficult to celebrate a new life coming into this world when so many people are dying everyday. I’ve been worried about the delivery and if my husband will even be able to experience the birth of our child. But taking it a day at time and grateful to have posts like yours that show how others are coping. I do think we will come out of this stronger and more thankful for all the things we take for granted. Sending you and the family so much love xx
April 11, 2020Marina
Hi! Would love a post on the right length to cut the hem. Really like how honest you are!!!
April 11, 2020Eli
I also worry for the small businesses: not being able to run it like they usually do means making 0 profits which also means that, unfortunately, they will have to shut down if this situation doesn’t change soon. I hope the governments start politics that can help them…
xxx
Eli
https://curly-style.com/2020/04/pantalon-de-fiesta-de-femme-luxe.html
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April 12, 2020Fashion and frappes
Such a lovely post. Honestly, no one needs to assume just because parents are having a hard time working and doing child care duties they don’t love the children. I see these comments on your posts and Instagram and I am amazed how silly some people sound. Honesty about something like this can only be a good thing in my opinion.
April 13, 2020neymasport
Thank you for sharing this article with everyone, good article content very high quality images, hope you continue to post more articles in the future.
April 14, 2020sabrina
Helena, your ig is saving my life. I’m a long time fan since 2013 and everything you said is on point! Sasha and Nate brighten my day so much!!! I am in NYC too (Queens) so I feel everything you said. Each day is different, I try to take it day by day highs and lows, Unfortunately, I lost my grandmother to COVID19 and know countless people who have lost friends/family also. This is unbearable but I hope we have some silver linings after all this is over. Thank you for keeping us sane <3
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